What People with Cancer Want You to Know

Our dear friend Lisa came across the following list in the book, Help Me Live by Lori Hope:

20 Things People with Cancer Want You to Know

1. It's okay to say or do the "wrong" thing.
2. I need to know you're here for me (and if you aren't, why not).
3. I like to hear success stories, not horror stories.
4. I am terrified.
5. I need you to listen to me and let me cry.
6. Asking my permission can spare me pain.
7. I need to forget -- and laugh.
8. I need to feel hope.
9. Telling me to think positively can make me feel worse.
10. I want you to trust my judgment and my treatment decisions.
11. I want compassion, not pity; comfort, not advice.
12. I am more than my cancer; treat me kindly, not differently.
13. I want you to help without my asking you to.
14. I like to be held in your thoughts or prayers.
15. My moods change day-to-day; please forgive me if I snap at you.
16. Hearing platitudes or what's good about cancer can trivialize my feelings.
17. I don't know why I got cancer, and I don't want to hear your theory.
18. I need you to understand if I don't return your call or want to see you.
19. I want my caregiver to take good care of herself or himself.
20. I don't know if I'm cured, and bringing up my health can bring me down.

(So many of you are doing so many of these things for me! Just reading over the list brings your faces and voices to my mind. And if items on the list seem onerous or confusing or contradictory or scary to you, please just re-read item #1. There's a good reason that the author listed that one first!)