Five Wishes

Over the last few months, I've been hospitalized twice, had two major surgeries, and had more doctors visits than I care to think about. And at almost all of these encounters with medical staff, the same question comes up: "Do you have a Living Will?"

A Living Will is a document that details how you wish to be treated and cared for if you are not capable of speaking for yourself.

Now of course, anyone over the age of, say, 75 should have such a document, because almost anything might happen to them to create such a condition: heart attack, stroke, serious fall, Alzheimer's and so forth.

But when you think of it, all of us are often moments away from being incapacitated ourselves. That is, anyone who walks across a busy street, drives anywhere in a car, takes a trip on an airplane, and so forth. I'm sure you can come up with an impressive list of Things That Might Go Wrong In An Instant. You don't need me to elaborate any further...

And the deal is that, should you be in a facility (hospital or otherwise) and not capable of communicating your wishes, if you don't have a Living Will, the staff of the facility legally must do everything they possibly can to keep you alive. And these days, the list of things available to them is impressive. And scary. The notion of "Death with Dignity" doesn't fit well with modern medical technology.

The Five Wishes Living Will is remarkable. It is a simply worded document that covers every aspect you can think of in this regard. It has been worked over by lawyers until it meets legal standards in almost every state in the Union. And filling out the form gives you a wonderful opportunity to examine your own deepest feelings about how you would want to be treated at this time. And a chance to share those thoughts and feelings with those you love and those who love you.

From personal experience, I can assure you that filling out the Five Wishes form should be far from an unpleasant experience where folks sit around looking and feeling uncomfortable. Nope. It is a chance to share yourself and hear your friends and family in a most profound and rewarding way.

And this work should be done while you're perfectly healthy and have some time to think these vital issues through completely. How do you really feel about when you want people to work hard to keep you going -- and when you would want them simply to let you go?

The Five Wishes form is available as a .pdf file at: http://www.agingwithdignity.org/forms/5wishes.pdf I strongly suggest you at least take a look at the form. Much better, download it and work through it in the company of those you love. (They will mail you a hard copy of the form if your computer won't do .pdf files.)

And if you have an aging parent who doesn't have such a form, please download the form and fill it out with him/her.

You owe this to yourself. You owe this to everyone who loves you and would be involved in your care should you be incapacitated.

Please.