When I finished my second round of chemo last Wednesday, it occurred to me that I was "Two down and one to go" with that part of my treatment. That's more than halfway!
Dude!!
But the truth is that this second round took a great deal more out of me than the first one did. I've been extremely tired, shaky, and dealing with a touch of nausea -- none of which applied after the first round. I'm also 12 pounds lighter, because I'm not taking in calories as quickly as I'm expending them. "Eating" -- if you call draining a can of carefully prepared nutrition into a tube into your tummy -- has become a real chore. Keeping my weight up is now the primary challenge of the therapeutic regimen.
Still the numbers don't lie: two-out-of-three is two-out-of-three.
And this morning, at rad therapy, a doc pointed out that I was doing my 19th treatment that day -- out of a scheduled 36. (Or maybe 37, there's some small debate about that...) And that is more than halfway as well!
Double Dude!!
But the above proviso applies here as well: life looks like it may get more uncomfortable in the weeks ahead. The skin on my neck now looks and feels like it's been badly sunburned and it requires a layer of special ointment to keep it okay. And my throat is swollen -- which makes eating solid food all but impossible. (The PEG food tube is not an optimal way of ingesting nourishment, but thank goodness it's there and it works!) Oh, and the ulcer on my tongue is still quite painful.
But I remind myself that I am walking a path that thousands of people have walked before. And that the treatment regimens available today are much advanced over what was available just years ago. And that I have the love and support of so many people around me. AND that my wonderful spouse continues to provide every possible bit of support and caring that I could ask for.
And writing about all this; knowing that you, dear reader, are with me on this journey, is an enormous help.
Please know in your hearts that this is true.
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Hi Randy,
ReplyDeleteYour welcome for the CDs and I'm so glad you find them helpful. I'm sorry you are feeling more and more of the effects of all your treatment in a not so positive way and also thrilled that your body still is working so well...even down 12 lbs (And WHERE BTW do you have any adipose tissue, even BEFORE being down 12 lbs! ?). I am amazed and so pleased that you are still blogging to us! You are so cool!
I've been out of the loop for a few days, so it is good to catch up with your blog and the words others have written. I really liked the "shoot myself" pun, but I make lots of "lame puns" myself :)
How is Deb holding up? Please let her know my love, thoughts and prayers are with BOTH of you.
I understand what you mean about the "Kinda" half way there, since the results are cummulative (SP?) and effects are exponential. Still, as you said, 2 out of 3 IS still 2 out of 3! Way to go! AND it sucks... and the treatments are working! and tummy tube "eating" stinks... and you are amazing! And a tongue ulcer is very painful and some times more annoying than "bigger" pains in our bodies...and your writing is so rich and striking!
Oh..A thought...
You may not be able to take supplements due to what you docs say...but you can ask you docs about high doses of acidolphilus (SP?)(in pill form, not in dairy...which is supposed to not be as good for folks recovering from caner ... dairy that is...but who knows about that one?).
Your docs may not want you to have high doses of even the "good bacteria" since you are not really using your entire digestive system right now... AND it could interfere with the progress of your treatments in some way, perhaps... You probably know that under "typical" circumstances acidolphilus and other pro-biotics help tremendously with mouth ulcers, but there is nothing typical about what you are dealing with...I just thought I'd throw it out there and you could ask about it if you choose to.
Guess I am feeling helpless all the way here in Irwin, PA and trying to offer any thing that might have the potential to give you some relieve. Hope I haven't annoyed you or any one else on the blog with this info...It could be way out of line...like the miso soup thing :) Let me know if I should keep my "hippie remedies" to myself and I'll cease and desist!
Sending Love, Humor, Joy, Fun, Good Reading, Relief and Healing and especially Love...Love...Love to you, Deb and to all of your faithful readers and fans,
Diane