This notion has been expressed to me on numerous occasions in the last few months -- either face-to-face or on a greeting card. And every time someone does that, it lightens my heart and reminds me that people do honestly care about my well being. Thanks to everyone out there who has said this or thought this.
But with cancer treatment, there is another way to look at "feeling better," as described to me by my chemo doc. (His off-duty activites include practicing yoga and mixed-martial arts. But not, I think, at the same time...) He explained the function of chemo and radiation therapies in terms of his martial arts training.
He says that, in a one-on-one competition (like either M-MA or cancer treatment), your objective is to hit your opponent again and again, softening him/her up and preparing her/him for a knockout blow. So with chemo, for example, you whack the cancer cells with some powerful toxin which kills and/or weakens those cells, but of necessity weakens your healthy systems as well (i.e, red and white blood cells and bone marrow). Then you allow those healthy systems to recover somewhat, but whack the cancer again with more toxin as quickly as possible. You simply can't wait for your systems to recover fully, as that might allow your cancer cells to re-establish themselves as well.
The upshot of this is that your healthy systems will degrade over the course of the treatment as your cancer cells are destroyed. If the therapies are well designed and fortune smiles on you, you should recover most or all of your previous capabilities and capacities, while the cancer never returns.
I've found this pugilistic metaphor helpful as my treatment progresses. I am not nearly as concerned as I might otherwise be as my strength diminshes and side effects of the treatments become more onerous. It's a requisite price I'm paying, and there is an end date to the treatments. And I have every expectation that I will be as healthy after all this is over as I was before the cancer started up.
So thanks again for wishing anyone and everyone "I hope you feel better soon." It's a thoughtful thing to do. Because what you're really saying is "I care." And you can't possibly know how helpful such a spoken thought can be.
Something that I'm learning, thanks to you.
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...and therein lies the torment of cancer treatment.
ReplyDeleteHow about this: I hope you're feeling better again just as soon as you stop one-two punching yourself.
Randy, it pains me to watch you go through this hell-and-back phase, but thankfully the treatments are finite. I know your body will rebound quickly to health -- your spirit is SO healthfully fostering its cleansing, and you will do a brilliant job of fostering the happy and healthy return of every bodily system.
Dear Randy - I like your doctor's pugilistic metaphor too -- and even more, I like his honesty with you.
ReplyDeleteYou know that I am praying that you feel better soon... but soon won't be the day after the treatments end. I had the "five days a week radiation/ one day a week concurrent chemo"
from Jan5 until Feb.26... and felt better about April 8. As of this day, I have about 75% of my energy back, and the side effects continue.
But I'm not complaining! The cancer is gone,
so all the misery is worth it! You may bounce back sooner.
Courage!
Love and prayers
Anne