My Dick Cheney Smile

There are a few residual physical effects from my big-deal surgery on May 5th. And most of those effects are gradually decreasing with time. For the first time since the surgery, I can contemplate being back to my pre-operation self functionality totally. (However, Dr. Chuma tells me that the feeling in my left ear lobe is likely never to return -- and that if my wife has a habit of nibbling on that ear lobe, she may have to transfer her attention to the other one. I am not making this up.)

Anyway, one of the ongoing issues is my "Dick Cheney Smile" (my term). The nerve or nerves that activate the muscle(s) which retract the left hand corner of my lower lip have not been functioning since the operation. So when I smile big, the lower right corner of my lip behaves properly and opens the lip, but the lower left corner just sits there. So my lower lip just cuts a diagonal across the bottom of my face. So the smile looks much more like a sneer. Like several recent politicians we've seen holding national office, including you-know-who.

Since I'm normally laughing loudly when this "DCS syndrome" occurs, I don't think anyone nearby is offended or will confuse me with you-know-who.

(But I want to assure everyone out there that my delightful boyish grin is fully available at all times and totally unaffected by the aforementioned nerve issue.)

It's been annoying when, for example, I try to eat toast. I have to reach up underneath the toast to pull the lip out of the way before I chomp down or else.

But given the gravity of the issues we're dealing with here, this is like sooooo small. And I had resigned myself to doing the "pulling the lip" trick for the duration, but maybe I don't have to. Just this morning, lying in bed, I believe I started to feel some control coming back in this area. (Dr. Chuma said that was likely to happen, but until it does, you always have that question: am I stuck with this?)

I've never had surgery anywhere near this involved and extensive. So all my previous understandings about recovery times are not all that helpful for this experience. So it has been a blessing in many ways to have this gradual return of functionality over the last twelve days:

While I understand that that I still have cancer cells in my body (which chemotherapy and radiology treatment should start to eliminate in weeks upcoming), I have today gained a new understanding and appreciation for the immense well of healing that my body is prepared to provide for me.

The Quakers out there may recall George Fox's revelation about "A Ocean of Darkness/an Ocean of Light." Yes, it feels like that...

I'll keep you posted.