A SAD Time of the Year...

For more than a decade, late fall and early winter have meant Seasonal Affective Disorder (or "SAD") for me.

Typically, I get a constant level of fatigue that sleeping doesn't relieve. I get cranky and have been known to yell at co-workers, friends, fellow jugglers and even my wonderful wife. I get hypoglycemic, which means low blood sugar -- and eating candy bars or other high-sugar foods only drives my blood sugar even lower.

And I can identify this condition as SAD, because using an intensive light source (designed specifically for treating SAD) first thing in the morning alleviates the entire package of symptoms. Every year, I've started using the light source shortly after I feel a building sense of anger that I can't explain. And I tell Deb that it's that time again, and please ignore any grousing that I direct her way.

But strangely enough, this year I seem to be immune to the symptoms completely without any use of the SAD light. (Okay, so I've been sleeping in some the last week or two, but I think that's pretty normal and I've been getting to bed late.) But no hypoglycemia and no anger. It's been delightful. Things have been so normal that it's taken me a month or so to realize that... well, that things are normal.

I might tie this to my changed attitude about autumn -- a change I blogged about a month or so ago. (I used to dread autumn, but have come to accept it and even enjoy it!)

I might tie this to my recovery from cancer treatment and all the physical, mental and spiritual changes that has entailed.

I might credit this to what I've been learning about myself and the universe at the Meadville school.

I might assume that I'm simply changing with age, and that my SAD time has simply passed.

Or I might just accept the gift of non-SADness and be grateful.