(I'm not complaining here. Just reporting.)
I've mentioned before that pain has never entered the picture in my illness or therapy -- and that continues to be the case. Thank the Good Lord!
But fatigue has become a constant, and most unwelcome, companion. One of my American Cancer Society booklets explains that this kind of fatigue cannot be addressed with rest: you take a nap because you have fatigue and you wake up with the same level of fatigue you started with. You probably needed the nap for other reasons, but the fatigue feels like some kind of bedrock condition.
At the start of a day, I make plans for what I want to accomplish. And by the end of the day, there's practically nothing done. Deb does most of the driving and has been huge in supporting me and keeping the household running. While I am deeply grateful for all she does, the situation makes me feel like a real slacker...
The Engineer-in-me tries to figure this out: Am I not eating enough? (Answer: well, my weight has been pretty stable, so maybe not...) Is this lack of sleep -- or at least continuous sleep? (Answer: could be -- I typically wake up three or four times a night to visit the bathroom...) Is it the reduction in my red- and white-blood cell count due to the chemo treatments? (Answer: how would I know?) Is it anxiety? (Answer: duh...) Will this get worse as the treatments continue? (Answer: oh, please no!) And then the key question: Is there anything I can do about this to make it go away? (Answer: ___________)
I see my chemo doc later today and hope to get some clarity on this. I'll let you know how it goes. Kind thoughts and prayers, as always, are deeply appreciated.
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But Randy, your body is working incredibly hard. It's just that a lot of us don't count something as work unless we are consciously directing it every minute. Give yourself some credit here!
ReplyDeleteEileen
As a young pup I was a lifeguard. The energy of youth still waned even though all I did all day was sit in a chair. The answer was sun does damage to your skin and the body uses up energy to heal. I'm not surprised that you feel that way. Indeed, your body is busy. - Hal
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, the fatigue is caused more by the daily doses of radiation than by the chemo.
ReplyDeleteThat might not be the case for you, but it sure was for me. It is not going to get better until you are finished with the radiation, and even then it is going to take several months. I am still not up to my normal energy level, and my radiation treatments stopped Feb.26. Try to roll with it. It's a sort of a Zen thing... can be a contemplative time. The image of the floating islands in C.S.Lewis' Perelandra comes to me.
Love from Anne