Kind thoughts, please...

Well, this coming Tuesday may be a Big Discovery Day for me. As reported in the October posting, "Testing #3 -- A New Journey," I've had a series of blood tests being analyzed for several weeks. Collectively, they're either called "hyper-coag" or "hypo-coag," but I think it's the first of the two. Because the problem being addressed is my body's tendency to form blood clots when it's not appropriate to do so.

And Tuesday morning, we've got a meeting with my chemo/hemo doc -- I think/hope to discuss the results. Possible test results and prognosis include:

-- "The tests show completely normal blood chemistry and the genetic testing shows no predisposition for clots. It looks like it took a while for your body to re-adjust after the chemo treatments, but you can now continue your life from here on in without blood thinners and minimal concern for additional clotting." Which would mean I could get on a plane with no particular concern or consider driving to Alberta again and doing dino work next summer. Or...

-- "It looks like the chemo treatments have triggered something that will likely recur from time to time -- unless you put more rutabagas in your diet. (Or kale or kumquats or whatever...) In which case you should be fine." Which would be a minor inconvenience but a happy outcome. Or...

-- "The tests indicate you should be on blood thinners for the rest of your life." Either for hemotological reasons or genetic markers that were triggered by the chemo treatments. In which case, (especially if it's genetic) I should probably tell all my relatives that blood clots are a possibility in their lives as well, and here's what to look out for. Or...

-- Something else.

I can't think of what "Something else" might be, but past experience tells me that the unexpected is to be expected.

And so, dear friends, I would ask you to "hold me in the light" on Tuesday morning. And I will report on what's what as soon as I know.

Thank you for being here.

Another Green Light

Last Monday, Deb and I visited my Ear/Nose/Throat doc for a routine visit. And "routine" is a good word for the occasion:

As usual, he did a very thorough physical examination of my neck, cheek, tongue and throat. Probing and prodding everywhere. And as has always been the case for these visits, he couldn't find any new bumps anywhere.

This is getting to be so routine that he almost forgot to probe the inside of my cheek. Which is quite close to where the initial tumor had been located. He chastised himself lightly: "I looked all over the outside of the cheek but almost didn't look at all on the inside." Or words to that effect.

He wanted to know if I felt tired a lot recently and I told him no, but that my stamina wasn't anywhere near where it had been before the treatments started. He suggested that my thyroid gland might be acting up -- which wouldn't be that unusual for someone who had received the treatments that I had. He said that the hyper-coag work-up that's currently being analyzed (the results of which should be available in a couple of weeks) might include testing for thyroid conditions -- and if it didn't, he would order such testing.

And that thyroid business, coupled with some discussion of my blood clotting issues, was/were the main topic(s) for the visit. The possibility of cancer recurrence was almost an afterthought.

So that's pretty good news, eh? I certainly thought so.

Although something inside of me keeps droning on and on about how the cancer could re-occur at any moment. And just like that the blood clotting and possible thyroid issues pale in significance. But then, I remember that -- as previously posted -- life is pretty darn good right now, and that's all I need to know. And that tomorrow is not guaranteed. For any of us.

Which brings me back to a upwelling feeling of gratitude. For my health. For my spouse. For my excellent medical team. For the chance to "talk" to all of you.

And that's pretty good news too.

Oh, That's Why!!

Until just the other day, I've been puzzled why I don't find time to keep up this blog the way I used to. I mean, I used to post something almost every day. But lately...

Just yesterday though, I finally asked myself the right question. Which was: "Why can't I find time to update the blog?" And bingo, there was the answer.

I can't find time to keep it up because I've plugged back in to almost everything I was doing before my treatments started last year. Plus some new stuff -- like music lessons and the practice time that is necessitated by the lessons.

During treatment, I did practically nothing except eat, sleep, read, and have Deb haul me around to doctors' appointments. And compose stuff for the blog. But now:

-- I'm working out at my health club again.

-- I've got half a dozen projects going in the basement.

-- I'm doing yardwork again.

-- I'm running practice sessions for the Turks Head Jugglers again.

-- I'm performing again.

-- I'm working to get my Dad's house in Baltimore ready for sale.

-- I'm participating actively in my Quaker Meeting and its School again.

-- I'm engaged in practice with the local Buddhist Sangha again.

-- I'm logging some kayaking time again.

-- I'm golfing on a semi-regular basis.

... and on and on.

It was deeply therapeutic during my treatments to sit at the computer for an hour or two in the morning and compose a new posting for the blog. I'm grateful for the experience -- and, of course, your reading and commenting on what I wrote.

But now I just seem too busy with things to tell you about things.

I'm reclaiming me. And it is good.