This Thursday, Februry 4, I'm having an MRI at Chester County Hospital, Fern Hill Annex at 9:00 or so in the morning.
The area to be scanned is my head and neck -- site of the primary tumor. (The X-ray I had the other week was of the lung area only -- to make sure that the cancer had not metasticized to there. This MRI is to assure that the primary tumor has not reappeared.)
There is, as you might imagine, some anxiety connected to this: the area to be scanned hasn't been examined in this fashion since, maybe, October. The physical probing and visual exams done by several of my docs has been reassuring, but the scan will look deeper. And with a cancer as incompletely documented as this one, who knows where it might show up again?
The nice lady who scheduled me for the procedure had a series of questions, including "Do you have any metal parts in your skull other than dental fillings?" (The "M" in "MRI" does stand for "Magnetic" after all...)
And one of the other questions was, "Are you claustrophobic?" Which is a perfectly sensible question, since I know they will be putting my head in a cage sort of structure and then slide me into a huge doughnut-shaped contrivance which makes dreadful noises for 20 minutes or so. And thinking about this reminded me of the wonderful experience I had last summer at Johns Hopkins, where I was in a similar machine and had an anxiety attack. (I blogged about this, but don't have the time at the moment to find it.)
They slid me out of the machine, calmed me down, then slid me back in. And I thought of all the people who wanted me to lay still. Which enabled me to do just that. ("Diane wants me to lie still." "Hal wants me to lie still." and so on...)
So I'm asking you, please, for your thoughts and prayers this Thursday. That the scan will come out as clean as all the other scans have done. I believe very deeply that this will help things to come to a successful conclusion.
And I will, of course, let everyone know how things turn out. Probably the following Monday.
Thank you for being here. Thank you for all the caring you've given me.
Thank you for your love -- and please know that it is returned to you completely.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Residual Issues
Well, it's been about six months since my last chemo and radiation sessions, and about one month since my last Coumadin pill for blood thinning. So I thought I would run an inventory of physical and medical issues resulting from the surgeries, chemo, radiation, blood clot meds, etc.
Please note that I'm not complaining about any of this. I recognize that I'm extremely fortunate to be cancer-free at this time and as healthy as I am. It just seems like a good idea to keep some kind of record for future reference.
Blood clots. As mentioned above, I've been off Coumadin for some time, and glad of it. I went through a spate of biting my tongue and the inside of my cheek, and I think the effect of the Coumadin meant that the condition simply refused to heal for several weeks at a time. (And you know the drill: bite your tongue. It swells. It becomes more likely that you will bite it again.) But that seems to be well behind me now.
Finally, I've put aside the compression stockings. Yay! and again I say YAY! The darn things refused to stay up and it was just plain tedious washing them out night after night. (I have a new appreciation for women hand washing their stockings over and over. Year after year.) And wearing them was a constant reminder that, if the blood clot broke loose, it could kill me.
I also had varicose veins show up on my lower ankle and foot while on Coumadin and wearing the stockings -- something I'd never had before. And that condition seems to be be clearing up.
My last sonogram for blood clots showed that it was still there, but getting much smaller. I was kind of hoping for one last scan, showing that it was completely gone. And maybe that will happen sometime. But I find it becomes less and less important as time goes by.
Shaving. Before the cancer treatments started, I hadn't shaved in over 10 years and had left the trimming and shaping of my beard to my barber, who was much better at it than I was. Now that my facial hair is reduced to a mustache (which I'm liking more and more as time goes on...) I'm supposed to remember to shave every day. Just like I used to. It's not a problem to do, I just keep forgetting to do it.
Hairline at the back. Before my treatments, I had a line at the back of my head -- just around the base of my skull -- where the hair above the line was mainly gray and the hair below was almost all brown. Well, that line disappeared -- along with all the brown hair -- during my radiation treatments. My barber said the line across the back was as straight as if it were drawn with a ruler. (Whereas it was actually drawn by a big ol' radiation machine.) And he had to let the gray stuff grow longer to cover the bared area. But the brown hair is fully back and the brown/gray line has returned. I guess the radiation intensity along the back of my head was much less than on the primary tumor site of my left cheek: enough radiation to "shock" the hair follicles on the back of my head, but not enough to permanently disable them. Thinking about this, I am impressed all over again with the intensity and precision of the radiation dosages.
My Dick Cheney smile. It's still there: the nerve that my E/N/T doc had to cut during the Modified Radical Neck Dissection operation has not healed -- but it may in the future. The doc said that it takes most people a year for the nerve to rejoin (if it ever would) but it could take up to two years for me because of all the radiation.
I've found that when I laugh, I'm unconsciously covering my mouth. To cover the unevenness of my lower lip. And I have to be careful when eating that my lower lip isn't going to get caught between my teeth when I bite off some food.
BUT! I've found that I can whistle again, and that I can also play the Indian flute. So I'm pleased. But I think I will hold off taking up flute lessons for a while, given that I'm now taking keyboard lessons.
My voice. My vocal chords return to almost normal from time to time, but I find I am often speaking a half-octave or more lower than I had before treatments started. Think Barry White -- which is not a totally bad thing! Funny, but I don't recall these voice changes showing up until after treatments were finished for some time.
In the morning, I really don't know what my voice will sound like until I try it out. Deb tells me that it sounds a lot like it used to by the end of the day.
Neuropathy. Another change that didn't show up until after treatments stopped was a tingling and numbness in my hands and feet. It's not painful and doesn't interfere with my normal activities -- including juggling, thank goodness -- but it's unsettling. My docs tell me this is pretty normal for chemo patients (that is, all my docs except my chemo doc, who tells me it's not related to the chemo!), but that the symptoms normally show up during the chemo and not after. But in any case, they tell me there's nothing that can be done and that the condition shouldn't get worse and might improve. So I guess I'll just hold onto that.
My buddy Hal recommended a supplement called Alpha Lipoic Acid, which had helped his sister with a similar condition. I've been taking it (since it's the only thing anyone has recommended I could do about the condition!) and maybe it's helping and maybe it's not. How would I know?
Taste buds. Doing much better in this area. Shortly after the treatments were done, the sensitivity of my taste buds meant that I was unable to use regular toothpaste, that any spices in food made it inedible for me, and that wine tasted like kerosene. I still can't use regular toothpaste (they make special brands for folks like me, thank goodness), but can tolerate some spice in my foods. And I can drink wine, but don't enjoy it nearly as much as I used to. But I have the feeling that my buds will continue to heal and return to normal -- and that one day, I will be able to consider eating at a Mexican or Indian restaurant again.
Eating because I'm hungry. After I had stopped using the food tube for nourishments, I asked my docs "When can I get rid of this thing?" (It wasn't uncomfortable when moving around or anything, but it did require special care when showering and occasional cleaning. And it was a constant reminder that I had come through a rough patch and been totally dependent on a plastic tube for nourishment. Having a foreign device emerging from your tummy takes a certain toll on one's feeling of normalcy...) Anyway, the docs wanted to see me hold my weight stable (it was around 160 back then) and put on weight before they would authorize the tube removal.
This resulted in my eating out of a sense of duty, even when I was no longer hungry. I remember dining out with friends and being asked by the waiter, "Is anyone interested in dessert?" And I said, "No thanks, I'm really full. Oh, wait a minute, yes, I should have dessert. I need the calories." And I recall numerous times looking at a half-eaten meal on my plate, feeling completely sated, sighing, picking up the fork again, and shoveling food into my mouth just because I felt absolutely determined to put weight back on again.
All in all, I had the tube in for over a month after I had stopped using it.
Although I now weigh around 170, I still feel that same (now illogical) necessity from time to time to eat more than I want to. But usually now, I'm setting that urge to eat aside and I'm eating when I feel hungry and stopping when I'm no longer hungry. And I wish I could explain to you how normal that makes me feel. And how pleased with my recuperation.
Belly button #2. The penetration in my tummy area for the food tube has healed up nicely, but it has left a noticeable depression, maybe two inches above my original belly button. It looks for all the world like a second navel: a bit smaller than BB #1, but other than that... So there goes my career opportunity to be a bathing suit model.
Limited saliva. This represents the biggest change in my normal activities -- and one that I will have to live with probably for the rest of my life. The radiation has permanently disabled my left parotid gland, reducing my saliva production by almost half. So my mouth is completely dry first thing in the morning, and it takes some time and a goodly amount of water and juice to have my mouth feel anything like normal. I try never to go anywhere without a bottle of water handy, and I choose my food based on how much moisture it contains. The more moisture the better.
But I've found that I can now eat pizza or sandwiches -- as long as there is an abundant supply of water handy to wash down each and every bite. And pull my lower lip out of the way of my teeth before I bite down. And this ability to eat bread and similar foods is a recent and most welcome addition to my eating possibilities.
Loss of my sternocleidomastoid (SCM) muscle. The Radical Neck Dissection opertation required the removal of my left SCM muscle which, when you look at an anatomy drawing of the human neck, looks like it should create numerous problems in head/neck mobility. (Click here for a drawing: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sternocleidomastoid_muscle ) My E/N/T doc told me that I would scarcely notice that it was gone -- and he's been right. It continues to amaze me that a muscle that large can be removed with so little consequence.
My workout routines at the gym occasionally call for me to have my head horizontal and unsupported, and I can feel the SCM loss then. But my trainer has adjusted my exercises so that I can support my head with my hands when necessary. Other than that, I don't notice its absence. Except...
Stiffness and pain in my neck. Reflecting the loss of the SCM muscle and the operation that removed it: there are times when the left side of my neck feels like I've strained it badly. But I think it's just the remaining muscles "complaining" a bit of having to take over the work that the SCM was designated to do. But it's never worse than just stiff.
When a doctor probes the primary tumor site (i.e., the left side of my face and neck), there is a certain level of tenderness leading to discomfort to downright pain. I guess there are muscles and nerves now directly beneath the skin in that area that used to be several layers of muscle and "adipose tissue" (i.e., fat) beneath the skin.
My jugular vein. As reported elsewhere in this blog, part of the Neck Dissection operation involved the removal of one of my jugular veins. And it turns out the human body doesn't have two of these, but rather four: a deep-seated one and a shallower one on each side of the neck. Click here for a drawing: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jugular_vein. The one I lost was the shallow one on the left side. Like the loss of the SCM muscle, there are few if any physical consequences to this... it just makes me feel uneasy when I think about it. (My E/N/T guy said that the removal of the first jugular wouldn't have any noticeable effect, but the removal of a second one, if necessary, could involve some serious consequences.)
Numbness in my left ear. Another consequence of the Neck Dissection was the cutting of a nerve needed for feeling in my left ear. It's barely noticeable when I'm indoors and has no effect on my hearing, but when I'm outside in the cold, my left ear feels like something I've borrowed from someone else: numb and almost lifeless. It's a disturbing feeling but doesn't impair my activities in any way.
So that's about it. A rather long list of rather minor issues.
On the other side of the ledger, my weight is almost exactly where I want it to be for the first time in several years. And as mentioned, my choices in eating get more extensive every week. I'm working out regularly at the gym and enjoying it immensely -- and my trainer keeps handing me heavier and heavier weights to work out with. She's pleased and somewhat surprised at my rapid progress, and all that feels wonderful.
Deb and I have opened new dimensions in our marriage -- based on what we've learned about ourselves and each other over the past year.
And several days ago, I found myself saying to myself: "Oh, that's right. I had cancer."
The fact had slipped my mind completely.
Please note that I'm not complaining about any of this. I recognize that I'm extremely fortunate to be cancer-free at this time and as healthy as I am. It just seems like a good idea to keep some kind of record for future reference.
Blood clots. As mentioned above, I've been off Coumadin for some time, and glad of it. I went through a spate of biting my tongue and the inside of my cheek, and I think the effect of the Coumadin meant that the condition simply refused to heal for several weeks at a time. (And you know the drill: bite your tongue. It swells. It becomes more likely that you will bite it again.) But that seems to be well behind me now.
Finally, I've put aside the compression stockings. Yay! and again I say YAY! The darn things refused to stay up and it was just plain tedious washing them out night after night. (I have a new appreciation for women hand washing their stockings over and over. Year after year.) And wearing them was a constant reminder that, if the blood clot broke loose, it could kill me.
I also had varicose veins show up on my lower ankle and foot while on Coumadin and wearing the stockings -- something I'd never had before. And that condition seems to be be clearing up.
My last sonogram for blood clots showed that it was still there, but getting much smaller. I was kind of hoping for one last scan, showing that it was completely gone. And maybe that will happen sometime. But I find it becomes less and less important as time goes by.
Shaving. Before the cancer treatments started, I hadn't shaved in over 10 years and had left the trimming and shaping of my beard to my barber, who was much better at it than I was. Now that my facial hair is reduced to a mustache (which I'm liking more and more as time goes on...) I'm supposed to remember to shave every day. Just like I used to. It's not a problem to do, I just keep forgetting to do it.
Hairline at the back. Before my treatments, I had a line at the back of my head -- just around the base of my skull -- where the hair above the line was mainly gray and the hair below was almost all brown. Well, that line disappeared -- along with all the brown hair -- during my radiation treatments. My barber said the line across the back was as straight as if it were drawn with a ruler. (Whereas it was actually drawn by a big ol' radiation machine.) And he had to let the gray stuff grow longer to cover the bared area. But the brown hair is fully back and the brown/gray line has returned. I guess the radiation intensity along the back of my head was much less than on the primary tumor site of my left cheek: enough radiation to "shock" the hair follicles on the back of my head, but not enough to permanently disable them. Thinking about this, I am impressed all over again with the intensity and precision of the radiation dosages.
My Dick Cheney smile. It's still there: the nerve that my E/N/T doc had to cut during the Modified Radical Neck Dissection operation has not healed -- but it may in the future. The doc said that it takes most people a year for the nerve to rejoin (if it ever would) but it could take up to two years for me because of all the radiation.
I've found that when I laugh, I'm unconsciously covering my mouth. To cover the unevenness of my lower lip. And I have to be careful when eating that my lower lip isn't going to get caught between my teeth when I bite off some food.
BUT! I've found that I can whistle again, and that I can also play the Indian flute. So I'm pleased. But I think I will hold off taking up flute lessons for a while, given that I'm now taking keyboard lessons.
My voice. My vocal chords return to almost normal from time to time, but I find I am often speaking a half-octave or more lower than I had before treatments started. Think Barry White -- which is not a totally bad thing! Funny, but I don't recall these voice changes showing up until after treatments were finished for some time.
In the morning, I really don't know what my voice will sound like until I try it out. Deb tells me that it sounds a lot like it used to by the end of the day.
Neuropathy. Another change that didn't show up until after treatments stopped was a tingling and numbness in my hands and feet. It's not painful and doesn't interfere with my normal activities -- including juggling, thank goodness -- but it's unsettling. My docs tell me this is pretty normal for chemo patients (that is, all my docs except my chemo doc, who tells me it's not related to the chemo!), but that the symptoms normally show up during the chemo and not after. But in any case, they tell me there's nothing that can be done and that the condition shouldn't get worse and might improve. So I guess I'll just hold onto that.
My buddy Hal recommended a supplement called Alpha Lipoic Acid, which had helped his sister with a similar condition. I've been taking it (since it's the only thing anyone has recommended I could do about the condition!) and maybe it's helping and maybe it's not. How would I know?
Taste buds. Doing much better in this area. Shortly after the treatments were done, the sensitivity of my taste buds meant that I was unable to use regular toothpaste, that any spices in food made it inedible for me, and that wine tasted like kerosene. I still can't use regular toothpaste (they make special brands for folks like me, thank goodness), but can tolerate some spice in my foods. And I can drink wine, but don't enjoy it nearly as much as I used to. But I have the feeling that my buds will continue to heal and return to normal -- and that one day, I will be able to consider eating at a Mexican or Indian restaurant again.
Eating because I'm hungry. After I had stopped using the food tube for nourishments, I asked my docs "When can I get rid of this thing?" (It wasn't uncomfortable when moving around or anything, but it did require special care when showering and occasional cleaning. And it was a constant reminder that I had come through a rough patch and been totally dependent on a plastic tube for nourishment. Having a foreign device emerging from your tummy takes a certain toll on one's feeling of normalcy...) Anyway, the docs wanted to see me hold my weight stable (it was around 160 back then) and put on weight before they would authorize the tube removal.
This resulted in my eating out of a sense of duty, even when I was no longer hungry. I remember dining out with friends and being asked by the waiter, "Is anyone interested in dessert?" And I said, "No thanks, I'm really full. Oh, wait a minute, yes, I should have dessert. I need the calories." And I recall numerous times looking at a half-eaten meal on my plate, feeling completely sated, sighing, picking up the fork again, and shoveling food into my mouth just because I felt absolutely determined to put weight back on again.
All in all, I had the tube in for over a month after I had stopped using it.
Although I now weigh around 170, I still feel that same (now illogical) necessity from time to time to eat more than I want to. But usually now, I'm setting that urge to eat aside and I'm eating when I feel hungry and stopping when I'm no longer hungry. And I wish I could explain to you how normal that makes me feel. And how pleased with my recuperation.
Belly button #2. The penetration in my tummy area for the food tube has healed up nicely, but it has left a noticeable depression, maybe two inches above my original belly button. It looks for all the world like a second navel: a bit smaller than BB #1, but other than that... So there goes my career opportunity to be a bathing suit model.
Limited saliva. This represents the biggest change in my normal activities -- and one that I will have to live with probably for the rest of my life. The radiation has permanently disabled my left parotid gland, reducing my saliva production by almost half. So my mouth is completely dry first thing in the morning, and it takes some time and a goodly amount of water and juice to have my mouth feel anything like normal. I try never to go anywhere without a bottle of water handy, and I choose my food based on how much moisture it contains. The more moisture the better.
But I've found that I can now eat pizza or sandwiches -- as long as there is an abundant supply of water handy to wash down each and every bite. And pull my lower lip out of the way of my teeth before I bite down. And this ability to eat bread and similar foods is a recent and most welcome addition to my eating possibilities.
Loss of my sternocleidomastoid (SCM) muscle. The Radical Neck Dissection opertation required the removal of my left SCM muscle which, when you look at an anatomy drawing of the human neck, looks like it should create numerous problems in head/neck mobility. (Click here for a drawing: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sternocleidomastoid_muscle ) My E/N/T doc told me that I would scarcely notice that it was gone -- and he's been right. It continues to amaze me that a muscle that large can be removed with so little consequence.
My workout routines at the gym occasionally call for me to have my head horizontal and unsupported, and I can feel the SCM loss then. But my trainer has adjusted my exercises so that I can support my head with my hands when necessary. Other than that, I don't notice its absence. Except...
Stiffness and pain in my neck. Reflecting the loss of the SCM muscle and the operation that removed it: there are times when the left side of my neck feels like I've strained it badly. But I think it's just the remaining muscles "complaining" a bit of having to take over the work that the SCM was designated to do. But it's never worse than just stiff.
When a doctor probes the primary tumor site (i.e., the left side of my face and neck), there is a certain level of tenderness leading to discomfort to downright pain. I guess there are muscles and nerves now directly beneath the skin in that area that used to be several layers of muscle and "adipose tissue" (i.e., fat) beneath the skin.
My jugular vein. As reported elsewhere in this blog, part of the Neck Dissection operation involved the removal of one of my jugular veins. And it turns out the human body doesn't have two of these, but rather four: a deep-seated one and a shallower one on each side of the neck. Click here for a drawing: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jugular_vein. The one I lost was the shallow one on the left side. Like the loss of the SCM muscle, there are few if any physical consequences to this... it just makes me feel uneasy when I think about it. (My E/N/T guy said that the removal of the first jugular wouldn't have any noticeable effect, but the removal of a second one, if necessary, could involve some serious consequences.)
Numbness in my left ear. Another consequence of the Neck Dissection was the cutting of a nerve needed for feeling in my left ear. It's barely noticeable when I'm indoors and has no effect on my hearing, but when I'm outside in the cold, my left ear feels like something I've borrowed from someone else: numb and almost lifeless. It's a disturbing feeling but doesn't impair my activities in any way.
So that's about it. A rather long list of rather minor issues.
On the other side of the ledger, my weight is almost exactly where I want it to be for the first time in several years. And as mentioned, my choices in eating get more extensive every week. I'm working out regularly at the gym and enjoying it immensely -- and my trainer keeps handing me heavier and heavier weights to work out with. She's pleased and somewhat surprised at my rapid progress, and all that feels wonderful.
Deb and I have opened new dimensions in our marriage -- based on what we've learned about ourselves and each other over the past year.
And several days ago, I found myself saying to myself: "Oh, that's right. I had cancer."
The fact had slipped my mind completely.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Hypochondria
I've developed a mild skin discoloration right next to the surgery scar from my (surprising and most unwelcome) skin cancer site. It's about the size of a quarter. It doesn't look like melanoma or squamous cell carcinoma or anything else on the dermatology hand-outs about skin cancer, but -- all things considered -- it's been disconcerting.
So I scheduled an appointment with my Ear/Nose/Throat guy -- the doc that did the surgery. That appointment took place yesterday.
As usual, the doc started out by thoroughly examining the primary tumor site -- probing inside and outside my cheek and up and down my throat. He declared that there was no indication of that cancer reappearing. Checked my mouth visually ("Say ahhhh." "Lift your tongue.") and said the same thing again.
Then he looked at the site that had concerned me.
He asked, "Are you familiar with the Seinfeld comedy show?"
"Um, yeah, a bit."
"Did you ever watch it?"
"Very little." (I didn't like where this conversation was headed...)
"You know the one character on the show that was always agitated about something or other?"
"The chunky guy?"
"Yeah, the chunky guy. Now what was his name. Hmmm... oh yeah, George. George Costanza. Anyway, there was this one episode where Geroge found a white spot on his cheek, and kept showing it to other people. Thought it was cancer. Thought he was going to die. Turns out it was just a blob of toothpaste or something. He could have wiped it off with a towel."
"Hmmm." (Is he trying to tell me...?)
"What you probably have there are some capillaries up on the surface of your skin. Now that I look closely at your face, I see a lot of them."
(Yes, he is trying to tell me that I'm...)
Then he said, "You look great. See me again in six weeks."
The visit co-pay was $30. I beginning to think it was a good investment.
As in: "Randy, relax. Things are going extremely well for you. Enjoy every moment of it and don't sweat the small stuff."
So I scheduled an appointment with my Ear/Nose/Throat guy -- the doc that did the surgery. That appointment took place yesterday.
As usual, the doc started out by thoroughly examining the primary tumor site -- probing inside and outside my cheek and up and down my throat. He declared that there was no indication of that cancer reappearing. Checked my mouth visually ("Say ahhhh." "Lift your tongue.") and said the same thing again.
Then he looked at the site that had concerned me.
He asked, "Are you familiar with the Seinfeld comedy show?"
"Um, yeah, a bit."
"Did you ever watch it?"
"Very little." (I didn't like where this conversation was headed...)
"You know the one character on the show that was always agitated about something or other?"
"The chunky guy?"
"Yeah, the chunky guy. Now what was his name. Hmmm... oh yeah, George. George Costanza. Anyway, there was this one episode where Geroge found a white spot on his cheek, and kept showing it to other people. Thought it was cancer. Thought he was going to die. Turns out it was just a blob of toothpaste or something. He could have wiped it off with a towel."
"Hmmm." (Is he trying to tell me...?)
"What you probably have there are some capillaries up on the surface of your skin. Now that I look closely at your face, I see a lot of them."
(Yes, he is trying to tell me that I'm...)
Then he said, "You look great. See me again in six weeks."
The visit co-pay was $30. I beginning to think it was a good investment.
As in: "Randy, relax. Things are going extremely well for you. Enjoy every moment of it and don't sweat the small stuff."
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Gratitude and More Gratitude
This just in!! I had a chest X-ray earlier today to determine if the cancer had metastasized to my lungs -- which has been known to happen from time to time...
But it hasn't happened to me! The X-ray came back clean! Or "No sign of disease," as the nurse reported the result to me. (whew!)
I haven't had an electronic gizmo (PET scan, CAT scan, DOG scan, GERBIL scan, etc.) do a look-see into my torso for a good long time, so this was certainly welcome news. And I'm not sure why I was directed to have a simple X-ray rather than a newer, more sophisticated technology. (I guess just because an X-ray would show up anything that might be wrong, and if something did show up positive, then a more advanced approach would identify the exact what/where. So fortunately a whiz-bang scan is not in the picture -- so to speak -- this time around. YAY!)
I think my radiation doc wanted me to have the X-ray on the 18th of January, but I just really wanted this done now! I mean, if there were a tumor, it would just be growing over the next week, right? So I figured get the test done today and get an answer. There was nothing to be gained by waiting.
I am adding my gratitude for this test result to the large heap of gratitude that I've felt as I wrote up the descriptions in the "Who You Are" postings. It was such a pleasure to bring each of the Commenters to mind, visualizing each of you in turn and recalling how you've affected my life. And supported me through months of treatment and recovery.
I still don't recommend anyone getting cancer. (If someone offers you some, my advice is to just say "No.") But as Anne (see "Who You Are -- Page 1") and I have discussed several times, there are gifts to be had.
Gifts like savoring the announcements of clean scans and basking in the warmth of knowing you have good friends who love you and lift you up when you feel down. Gifts like knowing that you will continue to be part of the life of this world.
But it hasn't happened to me! The X-ray came back clean! Or "No sign of disease," as the nurse reported the result to me. (whew!)
I haven't had an electronic gizmo (PET scan, CAT scan, DOG scan, GERBIL scan, etc.) do a look-see into my torso for a good long time, so this was certainly welcome news. And I'm not sure why I was directed to have a simple X-ray rather than a newer, more sophisticated technology. (I guess just because an X-ray would show up anything that might be wrong, and if something did show up positive, then a more advanced approach would identify the exact what/where. So fortunately a whiz-bang scan is not in the picture -- so to speak -- this time around. YAY!)
I think my radiation doc wanted me to have the X-ray on the 18th of January, but I just really wanted this done now! I mean, if there were a tumor, it would just be growing over the next week, right? So I figured get the test done today and get an answer. There was nothing to be gained by waiting.
I am adding my gratitude for this test result to the large heap of gratitude that I've felt as I wrote up the descriptions in the "Who You Are" postings. It was such a pleasure to bring each of the Commenters to mind, visualizing each of you in turn and recalling how you've affected my life. And supported me through months of treatment and recovery.
I still don't recommend anyone getting cancer. (If someone offers you some, my advice is to just say "No.") But as Anne (see "Who You Are -- Page 1") and I have discussed several times, there are gifts to be had.
Gifts like savoring the announcements of clean scans and basking in the warmth of knowing you have good friends who love you and lift you up when you feel down. Gifts like knowing that you will continue to be part of the life of this world.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Who You Are -- Page 5
Here's the final set of names of people who have taken the time and care to Comment on this blog:
#41 -- Sharon Smith. Sharon is a member of my Quaker Meeting, a yoga instructor, and a (fairly) new mommy. Some of you may recall that -- shortly after one of my surgeries -- Sharon came up with the lovely image of a bunch of blood cells wearing tiny little hard hats urging each other on to help Randy heal as quickly as possible. (Among other things, these cells were discussing getting overtime pay!) That may sound silly to you, but it was a considerable help to me as I "imaged" these cells in my neck working like crazy for my benefit.
#42 -- Sue the First. This Sue is the spouse of Ron W, who was written up on Page 4 of this series of postings. Sue is a delightful lady who has been an active gardener for a long long time -- and has been known to eat the flowers that she grows. Deb and I recall an impromptu lecture on the relative merits of eating Flower "A "as opposed to Flower "B." Perfectly charming. Sue's Comments on the blog have always been wonderfully upbeat and enthusiastic. And it's been easy to imagine Sue saying exactly what she was posting. It was like having Sue here to give me a much-needed boost when things were rocky...
#43 -- Sue the Second. This Sue is a classmate in my Meadville school. In addition to her full-time job at Channellock (one of Americas premiere tool-making companies), Sue runs a wildlife rehabilitation center just outside the Meadville city limits. Among a variety of critters that owe their continued existence in the wild to Sue and her cohorts, Sue nursed five Bald Eagles back to health last year. (I may have that wrong -- it might have been six...). And since making a mistake with any of them during their rehab could result in serious injury -- or even death -- to her, Sue keeps plugging along. You get the feeling that Sue has a special relationship to all that is wild and natural in the world. And that the Universe smiles on her activities and blesses them.
#44 -- Woodie. Woodie is my dentist. He takes an active and very personal interest in the well being of his patients and minimizes any and all of the concerns that folks often have about visiting their dentist. I can't imagine being frightened of what Woodie has in mind for you... The radiation treatment I underwent changed the way in which my teeth are held in my jaws. And the change means that removal of any of them could start a chain reaction that would require the removal of a lot of them. So I had to get a letter from Woodie confirming that my teeth were in good shape and would likely last me the rest of my life. (If there were any question about any of my teeth, they should have been removed prior to the radiation treatment.) Woodie did a lot more than just X-ray the teeth and pronounce them to be okay. He told me: "Randy, I've been examining your teeth now for several decades. And I know they will be fine." And then he took the X-rays. Boy, did that make me feel better -- and more confident as I started into the chemo and radiation therapies!
#45 -- Zara. Zara is our tenant -- living on the third floor of our house. When we purchased the house, we were already living in the apartment on the third floor. So when we moved down to the first two floors, it opened up the third-floor apartment for rental. We had it repainted and put in new carpeting and started looking for a tenant. And Zara, who had been coming to our Quaker Meeting for some time, was recommended to us to be that person. And so we offered the place to Zara, who accepted the offer. And all that took place ten years ago. And the place looks better now than when she moved in. Zara has been an excellent tenant, looking after the place when we're away and we are most fortunate to have her under our roof. Among other things, we've had the pleasure of watching her daughter -- a shy, giggly little girl ten years ago -- grow up into a very self-possessed and confident young lady.
#46 -- Zinc. Zinc has been another mainstay in my life for over 40 years. We were both students at Drexel and found each other's company on a Friday afternoon to be an excellent palliative for the vicissitudes of college life. Zinc taught me to play pool. He helped me buy my motorcycle -- and drove it home for me. When I was doing my Alternative Service as a Conscientious Objector during the Vietnam War, Zinc had me over for dinner 4 or 5 times a week. (I might have starved without his help!) When I was a Landed Immigrant in Canada -- considering becoming a Canadian citizen -- Zinc was my one Philadelphia buddy to drive up for a visit. When I was thinking about buying a boat, either fiberglass or wood, Zinc (a professional carpenter) told me: "Buy fiberglass." (I still have the boat!) Zinc's advice and guidance have always been sound -- and my life has gone considerably smoother because of him.
************************************************
Well sports fans, that wraps up the list. I may well have overlooked a name or two, and if you know of such an oversight, please bring it to my attention as quickly as possible. My e-mail address is GotaJugl@msn.com
I hope the information I've provided has assuaged your curiosity about who's who. If you're looking for more information, please let me know via the above e-mail address.
I plan on one more posting about these wonderful people -- and the experience of writing about them over the last two weeks. So thanks for staying tuned in -- and please continue to do so!
#41 -- Sharon Smith. Sharon is a member of my Quaker Meeting, a yoga instructor, and a (fairly) new mommy. Some of you may recall that -- shortly after one of my surgeries -- Sharon came up with the lovely image of a bunch of blood cells wearing tiny little hard hats urging each other on to help Randy heal as quickly as possible. (Among other things, these cells were discussing getting overtime pay!) That may sound silly to you, but it was a considerable help to me as I "imaged" these cells in my neck working like crazy for my benefit.
#42 -- Sue the First. This Sue is the spouse of Ron W, who was written up on Page 4 of this series of postings. Sue is a delightful lady who has been an active gardener for a long long time -- and has been known to eat the flowers that she grows. Deb and I recall an impromptu lecture on the relative merits of eating Flower "A "as opposed to Flower "B." Perfectly charming. Sue's Comments on the blog have always been wonderfully upbeat and enthusiastic. And it's been easy to imagine Sue saying exactly what she was posting. It was like having Sue here to give me a much-needed boost when things were rocky...
#43 -- Sue the Second. This Sue is a classmate in my Meadville school. In addition to her full-time job at Channellock (one of Americas premiere tool-making companies), Sue runs a wildlife rehabilitation center just outside the Meadville city limits. Among a variety of critters that owe their continued existence in the wild to Sue and her cohorts, Sue nursed five Bald Eagles back to health last year. (I may have that wrong -- it might have been six...). And since making a mistake with any of them during their rehab could result in serious injury -- or even death -- to her, Sue keeps plugging along. You get the feeling that Sue has a special relationship to all that is wild and natural in the world. And that the Universe smiles on her activities and blesses them.
#44 -- Woodie. Woodie is my dentist. He takes an active and very personal interest in the well being of his patients and minimizes any and all of the concerns that folks often have about visiting their dentist. I can't imagine being frightened of what Woodie has in mind for you... The radiation treatment I underwent changed the way in which my teeth are held in my jaws. And the change means that removal of any of them could start a chain reaction that would require the removal of a lot of them. So I had to get a letter from Woodie confirming that my teeth were in good shape and would likely last me the rest of my life. (If there were any question about any of my teeth, they should have been removed prior to the radiation treatment.) Woodie did a lot more than just X-ray the teeth and pronounce them to be okay. He told me: "Randy, I've been examining your teeth now for several decades. And I know they will be fine." And then he took the X-rays. Boy, did that make me feel better -- and more confident as I started into the chemo and radiation therapies!
#45 -- Zara. Zara is our tenant -- living on the third floor of our house. When we purchased the house, we were already living in the apartment on the third floor. So when we moved down to the first two floors, it opened up the third-floor apartment for rental. We had it repainted and put in new carpeting and started looking for a tenant. And Zara, who had been coming to our Quaker Meeting for some time, was recommended to us to be that person. And so we offered the place to Zara, who accepted the offer. And all that took place ten years ago. And the place looks better now than when she moved in. Zara has been an excellent tenant, looking after the place when we're away and we are most fortunate to have her under our roof. Among other things, we've had the pleasure of watching her daughter -- a shy, giggly little girl ten years ago -- grow up into a very self-possessed and confident young lady.
#46 -- Zinc. Zinc has been another mainstay in my life for over 40 years. We were both students at Drexel and found each other's company on a Friday afternoon to be an excellent palliative for the vicissitudes of college life. Zinc taught me to play pool. He helped me buy my motorcycle -- and drove it home for me. When I was doing my Alternative Service as a Conscientious Objector during the Vietnam War, Zinc had me over for dinner 4 or 5 times a week. (I might have starved without his help!) When I was a Landed Immigrant in Canada -- considering becoming a Canadian citizen -- Zinc was my one Philadelphia buddy to drive up for a visit. When I was thinking about buying a boat, either fiberglass or wood, Zinc (a professional carpenter) told me: "Buy fiberglass." (I still have the boat!) Zinc's advice and guidance have always been sound -- and my life has gone considerably smoother because of him.
************************************************
Well sports fans, that wraps up the list. I may well have overlooked a name or two, and if you know of such an oversight, please bring it to my attention as quickly as possible. My e-mail address is GotaJugl@msn.com
I hope the information I've provided has assuaged your curiosity about who's who. If you're looking for more information, please let me know via the above e-mail address.
I plan on one more posting about these wonderful people -- and the experience of writing about them over the last two weeks. So thanks for staying tuned in -- and please continue to do so!
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Who You Are -- Page 4
Here's the 4th set of 10 names of people who have taken the time and care to Comment on this blog:
#31 -- Marta W. Marta is a member of Deb's conversational French group -- which has been meeting for well over 30 years (which is how long Deb has been a member). Marta is also a tournament-level competitive bowler and an excellent hostess. (We've never seen her bowl, but we've had the pleasure of enjoying her hospitality on a number of occasions.) In addition she's a volunteer working with persons with disabilities. A lady with a big heart and a smooth delivery on the lanes.
#32 -- Martin B. Did you ever get the feeling, when you meet someone, that this person will make a considerable difference in his/her chosen field of endeavor? We feel strongly this way about Martin. We met him during one of our dinosaur trips out west and have followed his career ever since. He's recently received his PhD in Paleontology (or "Palaeontology" as he would spell it. He's Canadian...) from the University in Uppsala. Which is in Sweden. I'm still impressed that Martin chose this school for this critical part of his educational and professional career without ever visiting the campus and not knowing a word of Swedish. Rather than specializing in dinosaurs (which is so 20th century...), Martin has focused on that wonderful time in the history of life when fish grew feet and lungs. And became amphibians. His explanations of all that are crystal clear and carefully adjusted to the background of his audience. He is extremely pleasant and affable with a knife-like wit and a great sense of humor.
#33 -- Martha. Martha, as many of you know, is my sister -- younger than me by 3 or 4 years. She is Emily's mom (see "Emily" - #16 on Page 2 of this series of blog postings), an office manager at Johns Hopkins (in the Radiology Department, which has been truly helpful in recent months), a woodwind repair person with an enthusiastic following in Baltimore, the organizer of a Flute Choir (also in Baltimore), an avid kayaker, and someone very dear to my heart. In a family comprised mainly of political conservatives -- some of whom have been rather vocal on the subject -- Martha and I are the two wayward liberals. And at many, many stressful times in our lives (about politics, cancer, life choices, and on and on) Martha and I have supported each other and encouraged each other in the most loving of ways. If I had three wishes for the world, one of them would be that everyone would have a sibling like Martha.
#34 -- Matt. Matt is the Head of West Chester Friends School, which is affiliated with our Quaker Meeting. Matt has been an active supporter of our Turks Head Jugglers program for years. (And, as I have written elsewhere, the #1 reason for juggling clubs closing down is the loss of the practice facility. Without Matt's support and continued access to the School's gymnasium, the Turks Heads would be only a fond memory...) As a member of the WCFS School Board, I've had many opportunities to see how thorough and professional Matt is at his job -- and also many opportunities to see how the staff, faculty, and most of all the students at our School benefit from Matt's work.
#35 -- Nancy Bermudez. Nancy is a member of my class at the Meadville School. The assignments for the 2008-2009 school year found Nancy and me "teamed up" for counseling sessions, with her as the counselor and me as the client. We became quite close as the year went by, and her words and approach to life (she was working through her own medical issues) were inspiring and constantly helpful throughout my surgeries, chemo, and radiation treatments. I missed seeing Nancy at the last school gathering in Meadville and look forward to seeing her again in a few weeks.
#36 -- Nicholas. One of the few serious mysteries of the blog Commenters! Back in June, Nicholas wrote a brief summary of the state of West Virginia: that Charleston is its capital city and the largest city in Kanawha County, and so forth. I don't know anything more about him. So, Nicholas, if you're still reading the blog, please feel free to Comment again and let us all know a little more about you!
#37 -- PaleoPatti. Patti, like myself, is in orbit around the paleontology programs at Philadelphia's Academy of Natural Sciences -- America's oldest Natural History Museum and the lab where I volunteer to clean dinosaur bones and talk to visitors. Some time ago, I had a scheduled a dinosaur talk that I could not fulfill: my schedule had changed abruptly and I had to let go of the gig. My supervisor at the Academy recommended that I call Patti, who has done this sort of thing on numerous occasions before. So I did. I hadn't heard much from her since then, but was most pleased to see that she had Commented on the blog!
#38 -- Paul Malley. Back in July, I posted on the blog that everyone should have a living will, and that an organization called "Aging With Dignity" had created an excellent version of this document called "Five Wishes." This version was and is very user-friendly, avoiding all legal gobbildygook while still being a valid legal document, and presenting all your choices in a logical and caring way. Paul is President of Aging with Dignity, and he wrote to thank me for writing about Five Wishes and correcting a few misunderstandings I had about the document. So, thank you Paul -- for the document and for the corrections! (By the way dear reader, have you made out your living will yet?)
#39 -- Ron W (aka Ronzoni). Ron and I were classmates and roommates back at Drexel a number of years ago. (We won't bother you with details about how many years ago...) Ron was also Best Man at my wedding. Ron is also the guy who recommended Terry Pratchett as a writer of wonderfully funny and engaging fantasy novels about the inhabitants of a planet called "Discworld." (The planet is shaped like a Frisbee. And the planet is carried through space on the backs of four gigantic elephants. Which, in turn, are standing on the shell of an unimaginably huge turtle. That should help you understand how wonderfully crazy and fun the books were...) The books were enormously helpful in getting through my therapies. (I added them up: I read over 3,500 pages of Discworld novels during the summer. Almost all of them either lying down prior to taking a nap or sitting on our front porch. Prior to going inside to take a nap.) And Ron's Comments on the blog have always been instructive and helpful. In short, at numerous crossroads and turning points and critical moments in my life, Ron has been there for me. And I will be eternally grateful for his friendship.
#40 -- Roz. Another mystery Commenter. I feel I should know who Roz is, but nothing comes to mind to help me identify her. I guess it's a "her." So Roz, please feel free to drop me a note and fill me in on who you are.
If you're interested in getting in touch with any of these folks -- or with me -- please drop me an e-mail at GotaJugl@msn.com and I will, if it seems appropriate to do so, forward your message.
The last set of Commenters will be described shortly... Stay tuned!
#31 -- Marta W. Marta is a member of Deb's conversational French group -- which has been meeting for well over 30 years (which is how long Deb has been a member). Marta is also a tournament-level competitive bowler and an excellent hostess. (We've never seen her bowl, but we've had the pleasure of enjoying her hospitality on a number of occasions.) In addition she's a volunteer working with persons with disabilities. A lady with a big heart and a smooth delivery on the lanes.
#32 -- Martin B. Did you ever get the feeling, when you meet someone, that this person will make a considerable difference in his/her chosen field of endeavor? We feel strongly this way about Martin. We met him during one of our dinosaur trips out west and have followed his career ever since. He's recently received his PhD in Paleontology (or "Palaeontology" as he would spell it. He's Canadian...) from the University in Uppsala. Which is in Sweden. I'm still impressed that Martin chose this school for this critical part of his educational and professional career without ever visiting the campus and not knowing a word of Swedish. Rather than specializing in dinosaurs (which is so 20th century...), Martin has focused on that wonderful time in the history of life when fish grew feet and lungs. And became amphibians. His explanations of all that are crystal clear and carefully adjusted to the background of his audience. He is extremely pleasant and affable with a knife-like wit and a great sense of humor.
#33 -- Martha. Martha, as many of you know, is my sister -- younger than me by 3 or 4 years. She is Emily's mom (see "Emily" - #16 on Page 2 of this series of blog postings), an office manager at Johns Hopkins (in the Radiology Department, which has been truly helpful in recent months), a woodwind repair person with an enthusiastic following in Baltimore, the organizer of a Flute Choir (also in Baltimore), an avid kayaker, and someone very dear to my heart. In a family comprised mainly of political conservatives -- some of whom have been rather vocal on the subject -- Martha and I are the two wayward liberals. And at many, many stressful times in our lives (about politics, cancer, life choices, and on and on) Martha and I have supported each other and encouraged each other in the most loving of ways. If I had three wishes for the world, one of them would be that everyone would have a sibling like Martha.
#34 -- Matt. Matt is the Head of West Chester Friends School, which is affiliated with our Quaker Meeting. Matt has been an active supporter of our Turks Head Jugglers program for years. (And, as I have written elsewhere, the #1 reason for juggling clubs closing down is the loss of the practice facility. Without Matt's support and continued access to the School's gymnasium, the Turks Heads would be only a fond memory...) As a member of the WCFS School Board, I've had many opportunities to see how thorough and professional Matt is at his job -- and also many opportunities to see how the staff, faculty, and most of all the students at our School benefit from Matt's work.
#35 -- Nancy Bermudez. Nancy is a member of my class at the Meadville School. The assignments for the 2008-2009 school year found Nancy and me "teamed up" for counseling sessions, with her as the counselor and me as the client. We became quite close as the year went by, and her words and approach to life (she was working through her own medical issues) were inspiring and constantly helpful throughout my surgeries, chemo, and radiation treatments. I missed seeing Nancy at the last school gathering in Meadville and look forward to seeing her again in a few weeks.
#36 -- Nicholas. One of the few serious mysteries of the blog Commenters! Back in June, Nicholas wrote a brief summary of the state of West Virginia: that Charleston is its capital city and the largest city in Kanawha County, and so forth. I don't know anything more about him. So, Nicholas, if you're still reading the blog, please feel free to Comment again and let us all know a little more about you!
#37 -- PaleoPatti. Patti, like myself, is in orbit around the paleontology programs at Philadelphia's Academy of Natural Sciences -- America's oldest Natural History Museum and the lab where I volunteer to clean dinosaur bones and talk to visitors. Some time ago, I had a scheduled a dinosaur talk that I could not fulfill: my schedule had changed abruptly and I had to let go of the gig. My supervisor at the Academy recommended that I call Patti, who has done this sort of thing on numerous occasions before. So I did. I hadn't heard much from her since then, but was most pleased to see that she had Commented on the blog!
#38 -- Paul Malley. Back in July, I posted on the blog that everyone should have a living will, and that an organization called "Aging With Dignity" had created an excellent version of this document called "Five Wishes." This version was and is very user-friendly, avoiding all legal gobbildygook while still being a valid legal document, and presenting all your choices in a logical and caring way. Paul is President of Aging with Dignity, and he wrote to thank me for writing about Five Wishes and correcting a few misunderstandings I had about the document. So, thank you Paul -- for the document and for the corrections! (By the way dear reader, have you made out your living will yet?)
#39 -- Ron W (aka Ronzoni). Ron and I were classmates and roommates back at Drexel a number of years ago. (We won't bother you with details about how many years ago...) Ron was also Best Man at my wedding. Ron is also the guy who recommended Terry Pratchett as a writer of wonderfully funny and engaging fantasy novels about the inhabitants of a planet called "Discworld." (The planet is shaped like a Frisbee. And the planet is carried through space on the backs of four gigantic elephants. Which, in turn, are standing on the shell of an unimaginably huge turtle. That should help you understand how wonderfully crazy and fun the books were...) The books were enormously helpful in getting through my therapies. (I added them up: I read over 3,500 pages of Discworld novels during the summer. Almost all of them either lying down prior to taking a nap or sitting on our front porch. Prior to going inside to take a nap.) And Ron's Comments on the blog have always been instructive and helpful. In short, at numerous crossroads and turning points and critical moments in my life, Ron has been there for me. And I will be eternally grateful for his friendship.
#40 -- Roz. Another mystery Commenter. I feel I should know who Roz is, but nothing comes to mind to help me identify her. I guess it's a "her." So Roz, please feel free to drop me a note and fill me in on who you are.
If you're interested in getting in touch with any of these folks -- or with me -- please drop me an e-mail at GotaJugl@msn.com and I will, if it seems appropriate to do so, forward your message.
The last set of Commenters will be described shortly... Stay tuned!
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Who You Are -- Page 3
And on to the next set of 10 names -- people who have taken the time and care to Comment on this blog.
#21 -- JoAnn. JoAnn was, until very recently, a member of my Meadville School class. She is a wonderfully feisty person with a great deal of experience in nurtrition, the healing arts, and personal/spiritual exploration and development. She's recently opened up her own personal fitness training studio in Pittsburgh, which I had the pleasure of visiting recently. The facility is beautiful and well supplied with top-notch training equipment. It's hard to imagine a better facility or a more competent trainer. And, if you live in or near Pittsburgh, you really should at least check out the website: http://www.hydrationfitness.com/ Bon Chance, mon amie!
#22 -- John Seay. John is the husband of my wonderful sister -- and the two of them live in Baltimore. John is also a cancer survivor, several years past his intensive therapy. He's shared with me numerous valuable insights into what the intermediate- and long-term survival from cancer look like and feel like. John is also a first-rate singer/songwriter with numerous awards for his compositions. (But I don't know if he's ever written a song about his illness and recovery. Hmmm... I'll have to ask him sometime.)
#23 -- Karen/Kaz. (She's posted using both names.) Karen is Australian. Very Australian. And a superb dino hunter. She works at a museum Down Under, but finds time most every summer to visit her friends -- and she has a lot of friends! -- in North America. The most recent summer that Deb and I were dino hunting in Alberta, our field group found a superb dino skull embedded in a rock ledge that was really tricky to navigate. We pulled most of the skull free from the rock (which was hours of work), but found to our major disappointment that the occipital condyle (the "ball joint" at the base of the skull) was missing. Karen dove head-first into the narrow crack in the ledge where the skull had been and disappeared completely. Several minutes later (anxious minutes for some of us), she reappeared holding the condyle! Did I mention that Karen was very Australian? Good on yer, mate!
#24 -- Kathy D. Kathy is a member of our Quaker Meeting and the technical guru for West Chester Friends Meeting. Yes, it is unusual to have a female tech guru, but Kathy does this job beautifully, cheerfully, patiently, and with great attention to detail. When you watch how carefully and completely Kathy instructs the faculty, staff, and kids at the school, you just stand in awe. Kathy gave me the courage to create a blog in the first place. And she used the word "Twitter" with me 10 months before I heard anyone else use it. The School is extremely fortunate to have Kathy. The Quaker Meeting is extremely fortunate to have Kathy. Come to think of it, the world is extremely fortunate to have Kathy.
#25 -- Laurie. Laurie is also a Chester County Quaker with deep Quaker roots. She is one of those wonderful people who sees where something needs to be done, and either does it herself or finds the means to get it done some other way. Laurie interviewed me to become a member of the West Chester Friends School Board, and after the interview I found that I understood not only what would be required of me if I became a member, but that I had a much clearer understanding of my motivation for joining. Laurie rotated off the board several months after I joined, and I had lost contact with her. So I was delighted to have her Comment on the blog.
#26 -- Leslie & John. Leslie and John are members of our Quaker Meeting, and each of them -- in their unique way -- has found a series of roles to fill that help the School, the Meeting, and our community at large to survive and prosper. Leslie is currently the Clerk of our School Board, and brings energy, humor, and a strong sense of real-world problem-solving to our work. Individually and as a couple, they are delightful, helpful, and a joy to be around.
#27 -- Lisa L. It's hard to know where to start in talking about Lisa -- and even harder to know where to stop. She's a very dear personal friend and one of the most literate, eloquent and downright funny people we've ever known. She has taken a very strong personal interest in my illness and its treatment, and has done extensive research in my behalf as to whether I've been given the best possible chance of survival. This summer, when all I felt ready to do was crawl back into bed and sleep, Lisa was on-line looking for alternative treatments and other medical resources. Lisa has been a true "Friend in Need."
#28 -- Marcele. Marcele was a classmate of mine at the Meadville school, and also someone who recently left the program. As with others mentioned above, she left for perfectly sound reasons. And as with others, she will be sorely missed. Marcele is a wonderfully sweet young lady who brought a most welcome softness to our classwork.
#29 -- Maria Gabelberger. Maria is a member of our Quaker Meeting and is someone who is dedicated to a variety of social causes. She is also a psychological counselor, an ex-Marine, and an Akido expert. Oh, and a mommy of three small, highly energetic kids. (If this makes you feel like an underachiever, join the crowd!)
#30 -- Marie at DPP. The "DPP" stands for "Dinosaur Provincial Park," which is where Deb and I spend time hunting dinos in the summer. While Deb and I have the opportunity to spend a week or two in this fascinating place every year (except this last one), Marie spends considerable time there throughout the year as an employee of the museum that sponsors our fieldwork. There is a grandeur and solemnity of the Badlands that comprise the Park, and it takes someone with special gifts to appreciate this. And Marie is one of those people.
If you're interested in getting in touch with any of these folks, please drop me an e-mail at GotaJugl@msn.com and I will forward your message on to the appropriate party.
The next 10 Commenters will be described shortly... Stay tuned!
#21 -- JoAnn. JoAnn was, until very recently, a member of my Meadville School class. She is a wonderfully feisty person with a great deal of experience in nurtrition, the healing arts, and personal/spiritual exploration and development. She's recently opened up her own personal fitness training studio in Pittsburgh, which I had the pleasure of visiting recently. The facility is beautiful and well supplied with top-notch training equipment. It's hard to imagine a better facility or a more competent trainer. And, if you live in or near Pittsburgh, you really should at least check out the website: http://www.hydrationfitness.com/ Bon Chance, mon amie!
#22 -- John Seay. John is the husband of my wonderful sister -- and the two of them live in Baltimore. John is also a cancer survivor, several years past his intensive therapy. He's shared with me numerous valuable insights into what the intermediate- and long-term survival from cancer look like and feel like. John is also a first-rate singer/songwriter with numerous awards for his compositions. (But I don't know if he's ever written a song about his illness and recovery. Hmmm... I'll have to ask him sometime.)
#23 -- Karen/Kaz. (She's posted using both names.) Karen is Australian. Very Australian. And a superb dino hunter. She works at a museum Down Under, but finds time most every summer to visit her friends -- and she has a lot of friends! -- in North America. The most recent summer that Deb and I were dino hunting in Alberta, our field group found a superb dino skull embedded in a rock ledge that was really tricky to navigate. We pulled most of the skull free from the rock (which was hours of work), but found to our major disappointment that the occipital condyle (the "ball joint" at the base of the skull) was missing. Karen dove head-first into the narrow crack in the ledge where the skull had been and disappeared completely. Several minutes later (anxious minutes for some of us), she reappeared holding the condyle! Did I mention that Karen was very Australian? Good on yer, mate!
#24 -- Kathy D. Kathy is a member of our Quaker Meeting and the technical guru for West Chester Friends Meeting. Yes, it is unusual to have a female tech guru, but Kathy does this job beautifully, cheerfully, patiently, and with great attention to detail. When you watch how carefully and completely Kathy instructs the faculty, staff, and kids at the school, you just stand in awe. Kathy gave me the courage to create a blog in the first place. And she used the word "Twitter" with me 10 months before I heard anyone else use it. The School is extremely fortunate to have Kathy. The Quaker Meeting is extremely fortunate to have Kathy. Come to think of it, the world is extremely fortunate to have Kathy.
#25 -- Laurie. Laurie is also a Chester County Quaker with deep Quaker roots. She is one of those wonderful people who sees where something needs to be done, and either does it herself or finds the means to get it done some other way. Laurie interviewed me to become a member of the West Chester Friends School Board, and after the interview I found that I understood not only what would be required of me if I became a member, but that I had a much clearer understanding of my motivation for joining. Laurie rotated off the board several months after I joined, and I had lost contact with her. So I was delighted to have her Comment on the blog.
#26 -- Leslie & John. Leslie and John are members of our Quaker Meeting, and each of them -- in their unique way -- has found a series of roles to fill that help the School, the Meeting, and our community at large to survive and prosper. Leslie is currently the Clerk of our School Board, and brings energy, humor, and a strong sense of real-world problem-solving to our work. Individually and as a couple, they are delightful, helpful, and a joy to be around.
#27 -- Lisa L. It's hard to know where to start in talking about Lisa -- and even harder to know where to stop. She's a very dear personal friend and one of the most literate, eloquent and downright funny people we've ever known. She has taken a very strong personal interest in my illness and its treatment, and has done extensive research in my behalf as to whether I've been given the best possible chance of survival. This summer, when all I felt ready to do was crawl back into bed and sleep, Lisa was on-line looking for alternative treatments and other medical resources. Lisa has been a true "Friend in Need."
#28 -- Marcele. Marcele was a classmate of mine at the Meadville school, and also someone who recently left the program. As with others mentioned above, she left for perfectly sound reasons. And as with others, she will be sorely missed. Marcele is a wonderfully sweet young lady who brought a most welcome softness to our classwork.
#29 -- Maria Gabelberger. Maria is a member of our Quaker Meeting and is someone who is dedicated to a variety of social causes. She is also a psychological counselor, an ex-Marine, and an Akido expert. Oh, and a mommy of three small, highly energetic kids. (If this makes you feel like an underachiever, join the crowd!)
#30 -- Marie at DPP. The "DPP" stands for "Dinosaur Provincial Park," which is where Deb and I spend time hunting dinos in the summer. While Deb and I have the opportunity to spend a week or two in this fascinating place every year (except this last one), Marie spends considerable time there throughout the year as an employee of the museum that sponsors our fieldwork. There is a grandeur and solemnity of the Badlands that comprise the Park, and it takes someone with special gifts to appreciate this. And Marie is one of those people.
If you're interested in getting in touch with any of these folks, please drop me an e-mail at GotaJugl@msn.com and I will forward your message on to the appropriate party.
The next 10 Commenters will be described shortly... Stay tuned!
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Who You Are -- Page 2
Picking up where we left off...
#11 -- Donna H. Donna is a member of my class at the Meadville School. She also hired me in March of last year to perform at an after-school program called "Two Doors" in Rochester -- which was a lot of fun and enabled Deb and me to spend considerable time chatting and dining with Donna. Altogether was a wonderful trip. No one in our class, I think, focuses so much on the well-being and happiness of our classmates as Donna does.
#12 -- Donna P. This Donna is another member of my Meadville class. Donna has a razor-sharp wit and a keen sense of humor -- both of which she uses in the gentlest way -- making her a great deal of fun to be around. When she gets enthusiastic about something (which happens fairly frequently), it radiates from her head to her toes. If I could adopt her as a sister, I would seriously consider doing so.
#13 -- Dottie. Dottie is the science teacher at West Chester Friends School -- whose gym we borrow for our juggling practices. Since I've been a member of the WC Friends School Board for several years, I've had the great pleasure of watching her teach her classes from time to time. And I keep coming away with the same reaction: "Darn! Why did I never have a science teacher like her? And aren't her students incredibly fortunate?" When I start wondering about why I'm on School Board, with its various committee meetings, etc., I think of Dottie. Oh yeah, that's why I'm involved. To support Dottie -- and the rest of the faculty.
#14 -- Eileen. Eileen was Deb's roommate back at Swarthmore ever-so-long ago, and the two of them have kept close ever since. She is also married to one of my best friends from college (more on him later), and the two of them hatched a plot to get Deb and me together. Ever-so-long ago. And I don't think I've ever really thanked the two of them enough for being so clever. Eileen is one of the few Genuine Scholars I know, and carries her very own Ivory Tower around with her in a knapsack.
#15 -- Ellen. Ellen is a charter member of the Turks Head Jugglers -- and the motivating force behind the group's initial formation. (She had been a student in one of my juggling classes. As the class was ending , and asked me "Okay, now I can juggle three balls. What's next?" She didn't like the answers I gave her, but within six months, we had a juggling club up and running in beautiful downtown West Chester.) Ellen is very much a "Tell-it-like-it-is" kind of person, with a ready smile and laugh. Her contributions to the club -- and to the blog! -- are deeply appreciated.
#16 -- Emily S. Emily is our neice. She is also a Nurse Practitioner at Johns Hopkins with a most impressive resume. During the early stages of my diagnosis and treatment, it just so happened that she was doing clinical work with cancer patients at Hopkins -- and it was reassuring to have a resource like her available for insights as to what I should and should not be doing.
#17 -- Gwenn. We first met Gwenn when she started attending our Quaker Meeting, maybe 10 years ago. She was doing graphic design work back then, and she is responsible for the the Turks Head Jugglers logo, which features the Chester County Courthouse (where we held our first practice sessions) with an overlay of three juggling clubs arrayed like a propeller. Click here: http://www.turksheadjugglers.com/ to see. Very snazzy -- and we still use that design for our website, business cards, and T-shirts. Gwenn is now a District Judge locally, doing some wonderfully creative and thoughtful work.
#18 -- Hal. Hal is the only other male in our Meadville class -- and someone I deeply appreciate. If you know the word "mensch," then you have a good idea of the kind of person he is. If you don't know the word "mensch," I suggest you look it up. Integrity. Strength. Compassion. Yup, that's him. He and I enjoy the frienship and community of the 10-or-so women members of our class -- but each of us is grateful to have another guy nearby as well...
#19 -- Jan & Art. Jan and Art are a wonderful pair of people we first met when they started coming to our Quaker Meeting. Around the same time as Gwenn, come to think of it. They are firmly committed to bringing their Quaker ideals into the real world. Living their faith.
#20 -- Joan Eustice Sherman. Joan is a member of my high-school class and has worked hard to make our recent reunion a success. Since she and I were never that communicative back then or any time since, I'm assuming that she somehow picked up on the blog in her efforts to reconnect with everyone in the class. So, thank you Joan!
If you're interested in getting in touch with any of these folks, please drop me an e-mail at GotaJugl@msn.com and I will forward your message on to the appropriate party.
The next 10 Commenters will be described shortly... Stay tuned!
#11 -- Donna H. Donna is a member of my class at the Meadville School. She also hired me in March of last year to perform at an after-school program called "Two Doors" in Rochester -- which was a lot of fun and enabled Deb and me to spend considerable time chatting and dining with Donna. Altogether was a wonderful trip. No one in our class, I think, focuses so much on the well-being and happiness of our classmates as Donna does.
#12 -- Donna P. This Donna is another member of my Meadville class. Donna has a razor-sharp wit and a keen sense of humor -- both of which she uses in the gentlest way -- making her a great deal of fun to be around. When she gets enthusiastic about something (which happens fairly frequently), it radiates from her head to her toes. If I could adopt her as a sister, I would seriously consider doing so.
#13 -- Dottie. Dottie is the science teacher at West Chester Friends School -- whose gym we borrow for our juggling practices. Since I've been a member of the WC Friends School Board for several years, I've had the great pleasure of watching her teach her classes from time to time. And I keep coming away with the same reaction: "Darn! Why did I never have a science teacher like her? And aren't her students incredibly fortunate?" When I start wondering about why I'm on School Board, with its various committee meetings, etc., I think of Dottie. Oh yeah, that's why I'm involved. To support Dottie -- and the rest of the faculty.
#14 -- Eileen. Eileen was Deb's roommate back at Swarthmore ever-so-long ago, and the two of them have kept close ever since. She is also married to one of my best friends from college (more on him later), and the two of them hatched a plot to get Deb and me together. Ever-so-long ago. And I don't think I've ever really thanked the two of them enough for being so clever. Eileen is one of the few Genuine Scholars I know, and carries her very own Ivory Tower around with her in a knapsack.
#15 -- Ellen. Ellen is a charter member of the Turks Head Jugglers -- and the motivating force behind the group's initial formation. (She had been a student in one of my juggling classes. As the class was ending , and asked me "Okay, now I can juggle three balls. What's next?" She didn't like the answers I gave her, but within six months, we had a juggling club up and running in beautiful downtown West Chester.) Ellen is very much a "Tell-it-like-it-is" kind of person, with a ready smile and laugh. Her contributions to the club -- and to the blog! -- are deeply appreciated.
#16 -- Emily S. Emily is our neice. She is also a Nurse Practitioner at Johns Hopkins with a most impressive resume. During the early stages of my diagnosis and treatment, it just so happened that she was doing clinical work with cancer patients at Hopkins -- and it was reassuring to have a resource like her available for insights as to what I should and should not be doing.
#17 -- Gwenn. We first met Gwenn when she started attending our Quaker Meeting, maybe 10 years ago. She was doing graphic design work back then, and she is responsible for the the Turks Head Jugglers logo, which features the Chester County Courthouse (where we held our first practice sessions) with an overlay of three juggling clubs arrayed like a propeller. Click here: http://www.turksheadjugglers.com/ to see. Very snazzy -- and we still use that design for our website, business cards, and T-shirts. Gwenn is now a District Judge locally, doing some wonderfully creative and thoughtful work.
#18 -- Hal. Hal is the only other male in our Meadville class -- and someone I deeply appreciate. If you know the word "mensch," then you have a good idea of the kind of person he is. If you don't know the word "mensch," I suggest you look it up. Integrity. Strength. Compassion. Yup, that's him. He and I enjoy the frienship and community of the 10-or-so women members of our class -- but each of us is grateful to have another guy nearby as well...
#19 -- Jan & Art. Jan and Art are a wonderful pair of people we first met when they started coming to our Quaker Meeting. Around the same time as Gwenn, come to think of it. They are firmly committed to bringing their Quaker ideals into the real world. Living their faith.
#20 -- Joan Eustice Sherman. Joan is a member of my high-school class and has worked hard to make our recent reunion a success. Since she and I were never that communicative back then or any time since, I'm assuming that she somehow picked up on the blog in her efforts to reconnect with everyone in the class. So, thank you Joan!
If you're interested in getting in touch with any of these folks, please drop me an e-mail at GotaJugl@msn.com and I will forward your message on to the appropriate party.
The next 10 Commenters will be described shortly... Stay tuned!
Friday, January 1, 2010
Who You Are -- Page 1
Okay, I promised to do this a month or so ago but got distracted and tied up with other stuff. But I've decided that the start of a new year was an excellent time to fulfill old promises. Like this one.
The plan is to describe briefly ten or so "Commenters" to the blog in each of five different postings. Arranged alphabetically.
#1 -- Allison. We start with a toughie: "Allison" only Commented once, and I know two Allisons. (One is my Healer who trained at the Meadville School I've mentioned several times. This Allison strongly recommended that I attend the School, and that experience and working with her have been transformative. The other Allison is a preparator and field worker -- and a buddy -- at the dinosaur museum in Alberta that sponsors the work that Deb and I do each summer.) But Allison's single Comment on the blog didn't sound like either one. So Allison, if you're still out there, please get back in touch and let me know who you are. Please! (E-mail address is posted below.)
#2 -- Anne Higgins. Anne is a lifelong friend of Deb's and has become an important friend of mine as well. Anne is a sister in the Daughters of Charity and the author of "The Juggler" poem that I posted in December. Anne is a cancer survivor herself, having undergone treatment six months or so ahead of me. So her Comments on the blog and person-to-person were like headlights for me: "Randy, here's what may be coming next." It was enormously helpful to me, and her words often echoed in my head during many doctors' visits and treatment sessions. People like Anne are a reason that so many folks come through cancer treatment intact.
#3 -- Bonnie Reese. Bonnie is Deb's belly dancing teacher and a nurse. Deb and I have spent many a pleasant evening at a local restaurant watching Bonnie perform, and Bonnie's Comments have been laced with that "here''s how to get through this" wisdom that (I think) only nurses can provide.
#4 -- Carol Metzker. Carol is a Quaker and one of the most committed persons I know to personal justice and the alleviation of suffering world-wide. I am continually astonished at all that Carol does and feel genuinely blessed that she would Comment on my blog.
#5 -- "Coach" (aka Dinae). Dinae Commented using each of these names. You may recall my story of the Angel at the Pita Pit Restaurant: in the depths of my fear and anxiety, Dinae appeared somewhat magically and reminded me that my cancer was not a Death Notice, but a challenge that millions of people have met and survived. Joyfully. That whether I was to live another couple of months or another couple of decades, I was still me. And that the only real defeat would be if I stopped being me. God bless her!
#6 -- Connie. Connie is one of my fellow students at the Meadville School. She started one year after me, and for months, I really didn't know her at all well -- although I was fascinated by how she handled herself and what she has done with her life. About the time that I was diagnosed with cancer, Connie was facing a shoulder operation that might have ended her career as a kayak instructor and nature guide in the Adirondack Mountains. (At least I think it's the Adirondacks...) Anyway, she came through her surgery with flying colors, and I took her success to heart and carried it with me throughout my months of treatment. You might say she carried me on her shoulders. Her healthy shoulders...
#7 -- Darren. Darren is one of the most successful dinosaur hunters in North America. Deb and I have had the great pleasure of working with Darren in Alberta year after year. (When Darren is not doing dino work in Alberta, he's doing dino work in Mongolia, Africa, South America or who-knows-what's-next.) And he is constantly spooling off the most wonderful stories about dinosaurs and dinosaur fieldwork you can imagine. Ten years of listening to Darren and I've never heard him repeat a story.
#8 -- David D. David is a member of the Turks Head Jugglers, our just-for-fun group here in West Chester. David is one of the most pleasant, affable, approachable people I've ever met, and it was a nice surprise to have him Commenting on the blog. (Oh yes, and David is also a very competent five-ball juggler. Very smooth.)
#9 -- Dawn & Ed. For three years Dawn was a member of my class at the Meadville School. Dawn impressed most everyone at the School with her clear vision and readiness to help, to guide, to lead where she saw the need. We've had a number of people leave our class as the years have gone by, but Dawn's departure (which made perfect sense in context) made us all sad. And every one of us wished and still wishes Dawn nothing but success and happiness. Ed is her husband -- and one of the sweetest guys I've ever met.
#10 -- Diane. Diane is a classmate at the Meadville School and an inspiration to all of us there. Over the last 3 1/2 years, Diane has grown tremendously and now regularly provides remarkable insight, strength and great caring to difficult situations that arise at the School. Diane Comments regularly -- and the underlying message always seems the same: Randy, keep it up!! Thanks for all that!!
Okay, that's the first 10. The next set will be posted shortly. Promise.
If you're interested in getting in touch with any of these folks, please drop me an e-mail at GotaJugl@msn.com and I will forward your message on to the appropriate party.
AND speaking of parties, I hope everyone is fully recovered from New Year's Eve, and that the rest of 2010 finds you well and happy.
Thanks to the above 10 people and everyone who's taken the time to keep up with the blog and, as Tiny Tim once remarked...
The plan is to describe briefly ten or so "Commenters" to the blog in each of five different postings. Arranged alphabetically.
#1 -- Allison. We start with a toughie: "Allison" only Commented once, and I know two Allisons. (One is my Healer who trained at the Meadville School I've mentioned several times. This Allison strongly recommended that I attend the School, and that experience and working with her have been transformative. The other Allison is a preparator and field worker -- and a buddy -- at the dinosaur museum in Alberta that sponsors the work that Deb and I do each summer.) But Allison's single Comment on the blog didn't sound like either one. So Allison, if you're still out there, please get back in touch and let me know who you are. Please! (E-mail address is posted below.)
#2 -- Anne Higgins. Anne is a lifelong friend of Deb's and has become an important friend of mine as well. Anne is a sister in the Daughters of Charity and the author of "The Juggler" poem that I posted in December. Anne is a cancer survivor herself, having undergone treatment six months or so ahead of me. So her Comments on the blog and person-to-person were like headlights for me: "Randy, here's what may be coming next." It was enormously helpful to me, and her words often echoed in my head during many doctors' visits and treatment sessions. People like Anne are a reason that so many folks come through cancer treatment intact.
#3 -- Bonnie Reese. Bonnie is Deb's belly dancing teacher and a nurse. Deb and I have spent many a pleasant evening at a local restaurant watching Bonnie perform, and Bonnie's Comments have been laced with that "here''s how to get through this" wisdom that (I think) only nurses can provide.
#4 -- Carol Metzker. Carol is a Quaker and one of the most committed persons I know to personal justice and the alleviation of suffering world-wide. I am continually astonished at all that Carol does and feel genuinely blessed that she would Comment on my blog.
#5 -- "Coach" (aka Dinae). Dinae Commented using each of these names. You may recall my story of the Angel at the Pita Pit Restaurant: in the depths of my fear and anxiety, Dinae appeared somewhat magically and reminded me that my cancer was not a Death Notice, but a challenge that millions of people have met and survived. Joyfully. That whether I was to live another couple of months or another couple of decades, I was still me. And that the only real defeat would be if I stopped being me. God bless her!
#6 -- Connie. Connie is one of my fellow students at the Meadville School. She started one year after me, and for months, I really didn't know her at all well -- although I was fascinated by how she handled herself and what she has done with her life. About the time that I was diagnosed with cancer, Connie was facing a shoulder operation that might have ended her career as a kayak instructor and nature guide in the Adirondack Mountains. (At least I think it's the Adirondacks...) Anyway, she came through her surgery with flying colors, and I took her success to heart and carried it with me throughout my months of treatment. You might say she carried me on her shoulders. Her healthy shoulders...
#7 -- Darren. Darren is one of the most successful dinosaur hunters in North America. Deb and I have had the great pleasure of working with Darren in Alberta year after year. (When Darren is not doing dino work in Alberta, he's doing dino work in Mongolia, Africa, South America or who-knows-what's-next.) And he is constantly spooling off the most wonderful stories about dinosaurs and dinosaur fieldwork you can imagine. Ten years of listening to Darren and I've never heard him repeat a story.
#8 -- David D. David is a member of the Turks Head Jugglers, our just-for-fun group here in West Chester. David is one of the most pleasant, affable, approachable people I've ever met, and it was a nice surprise to have him Commenting on the blog. (Oh yes, and David is also a very competent five-ball juggler. Very smooth.)
#9 -- Dawn & Ed. For three years Dawn was a member of my class at the Meadville School. Dawn impressed most everyone at the School with her clear vision and readiness to help, to guide, to lead where she saw the need. We've had a number of people leave our class as the years have gone by, but Dawn's departure (which made perfect sense in context) made us all sad. And every one of us wished and still wishes Dawn nothing but success and happiness. Ed is her husband -- and one of the sweetest guys I've ever met.
#10 -- Diane. Diane is a classmate at the Meadville School and an inspiration to all of us there. Over the last 3 1/2 years, Diane has grown tremendously and now regularly provides remarkable insight, strength and great caring to difficult situations that arise at the School. Diane Comments regularly -- and the underlying message always seems the same: Randy, keep it up!! Thanks for all that!!
Okay, that's the first 10. The next set will be posted shortly. Promise.
If you're interested in getting in touch with any of these folks, please drop me an e-mail at GotaJugl@msn.com and I will forward your message on to the appropriate party.
AND speaking of parties, I hope everyone is fully recovered from New Year's Eve, and that the rest of 2010 finds you well and happy.
Thanks to the above 10 people and everyone who's taken the time to keep up with the blog and, as Tiny Tim once remarked...
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