A Long, Strange Trip -- on the Exit Ramp

We had a regularly scheduled visit to my radiation doc on Thursday the 14th.  One of those "every three (or six or whatever) months" visits that my chemo doc, my E/N/T doc, and my radiation doc have called for.  Normally, he probes gently around my neck area and looks into my mouth -- checking for a local recurrence of the cancer.  I really like this guy in any case, and it's quite likely that his design of radiation treatments is largely responsible for my continued cancer-free contition.  So it's perfunctory medicine, but a chance to reconnect with someone who was there for me at a critical time in my life. 

This time around, though, he was also the first medical person I was scheduled to see who was ready, willing, and able to take a look at the PET scan (done on the 6th).  Now you might well have thought that I would have been anxious to have a qualified person look at the scan results as soon as possible and tell me what they show about the spot on my lung -- which has turned into the principle reason for this Long, Strange Trip coming home from Baltimore. 

Well, I certainly would have guessed that I'd be anxious in such circumstances, but I felt remarkably at ease.  I had kept the PET scan disk sitting on the dining room table -- right next to the CT scan disk from Jennersville Hospital -- and so I felt that I had the answer in hand.  And I felt that it didn't matter what the result was, just that I had one. Kinda strange, but then that's the kind of trip it's been... 

Anyway, we showed up at the doc's office early to give him time to review both disks if he had a chance to do so.  Turns out he didn't.  That he was, in fact, backed up by other patient consultations.  But that was okay too.  It gave Deb and me a chance to sit in the examining room-- quietly -- and recall the times two years ago when such visits were fraught with anxiety.  And so it was a chance to be thankful for the restitution of peace in our lives. 

When he did show up -- with apologies for our being held up, because that's the kind of guy he is -- he had not only examined the PET scan, but had compared it to a CT scan of mine from two years ago.  One that I had completely forgotten about.  But I believe that it was taken before my treatments started -- kind of a base-line exam for future reference.  And what he told us about what he saw was wonderful:

He saw that the spot currently residing in my lung had been there for at least these two years, and may, of course, been there a lot longer.  And he listed for us several possible reasons for the spot being there -- all of which were non-cancerous. 

Now my doc is Asian and his face reflects that marvelous sense of tranquility that one sees so often in so many Asian faces.  But on that Thursday, you could see that he understood what this news would mean to us, and that he shared in the joy that the news brought with it.  He had, of course, been with us since the start of my treatments and has been for me such a source of strength and comfort for years now.  And so this day was a victory for the three of us (that is, him, Deb, and me):  the spot's been there for a long time and hasn't changed in years.  (Note: we still don't know what the spot is, and maybe never will, and maybe it doesn't matter now...)

I've got an appointment with my pulmonary doc next week on Tuesday the 19th -- and I expect him to give the PET scan disk a thorough going-over.  And I'm feeling that his analysis is somehow more "official," since he is the lung guy and he is the one who ordered the PET scan in the first place.  And for that reason, I feel that my Long, Strange Trip is still in progress. 

But I also feel that I'm on the exit ramp and slowing down. 

Anyone got change for a $10 bill?