A recent posting described a retreat arranged by my healing school -- the one I went to but had to leave early. But in the short time I was there, I had several revelations that I wanted to share with you. One of them had to do with ego:
When folks at my school -- and similar disciplines -- use the word "ego," it has a different meaning from what you may recall from your Psychology 101 course. In the healing school context, the ego is that part of your psyche that makes you think you're the Center of the Universe and everything and everyone around you should conform to your view of things and agree with it that you are justified in everything you do and say. The ego, then, isolates you from a deeper understanding of yourself, the people around you, and the world at large. The ego can make you very small, very hard, very brittle. While it seems to want to protect you from danger or pain, the truth is that it creates barriers between your self and love. Love of self, love of others, love of the world around you, love of God. And it can do so with all the creativity and imagination you have. Yup, it's that sneaky...
Thus, a major objective of many Eastern religious disciplines is the destruction of the ego.
Well, if it's that sneaky, how do you know when your ego is at work? When is it driving your bus rather than your True Self -- whose basic nature is love and acceptance?
Ah, glad you asked. 'Cause that was the revelation I wanted to share. During the short time I was at the retreat, I wrote out the following list:
I know my ego is driving the bus...
-- whenever I'm angry.
-- whenever I feel separated.
-- whenever I'm explaining myself to myself.
-- whenever I'm explaining myself to other people.
-- whenever I'm feeling recriminations.
-- whenever I ignore my internal Red Light.
-- whenever I'm feeling judgmental.
-- whenever I want to hang onto my resentment.
-- whenever I'm disappointed.
(Additions to the list are warmly invited!)
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No additions, but a caveat. Insights like this are a double edged sword. You feel empowered when you get them, but soon you run into disappointment when you find how the insight that seemed so liberating at the time, subsequently doesn't change anything. The ego is pretty good at rising to any challenge to make sure you don't do anything to threaten it (hey, it's been working at this a lot longer than your love faculty has). The only thing that will change the condition is concerted action, and that requires a plan. I learned this from Arnold. As to what actions and what plans, well, that gets complicated. The point here is not to beat yourself up if you find yourself doing the same old same old.
ReplyDelete12-step programs have a couple of acronyms that I like...
ReplyDeleteJADE(d): Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain
EGO: Edging God Out